doodlemaier: (Default)
Job Description: Establish and maintain safe distance between shit and fan. Sort paper clips as necessary.

Work shit

Sep. 26th, 2007 01:51 pm
doodlemaier: (Default)
rinse, repeat. . .  )
doodlemaier: (courage)
I documented all of the general activities of the CH development dept. as they pertain to our database in a "gifts lifecycle" flowchart. My boss loves it. Scary organized is how he referred to it. Anyway, he came to me today to ask if I would care to present those processes to a board of directors, or some such in their annual meeting. As if listening from the back of a noisy and crowded underwater auditorium I recognize my own voice saying, "Sure, I'd be happy to. . ." - in ultra-slow motion.

Snap back to present: "That'd be great" says Drew, in classic Office Space form, "It's on Friday . . blah, blah, blah"

"Very well", I say with my voice, as the one internal cuffs me across the back of my cochlear nucleus. "That's how I get myself mixed up with this shit, fucking idiot!"
doodlemaier: (mind)
. . . and why it is that I'm a luddite )
doodlemaier: (Default)
There is very little that is standard about the donations we receive, so I've developed this system to expodite their processing and minimize errors.

Donations are first photocopied. Each source should have at least two copies (a "working" copy and an archive copy) and display an image of:
  1. the check, or money order, or cash, etc. (primary)

  2. any correspondence from the donor (secondary)

  3. the envelope, along with the amount, fund ID, and the appeal ID coded on the front, as well as the postmark for end of year gifts (tertiary)
Next, sources are sorted by whether or not they are memorial donations or non-memorial donations, and then sorted again by their fund ID's, and then again by whether or not they are higher donors ($250 and over). Then they are deposited through the check scanner and two copies of the deposit slip are downloaded and printed which are grouped with a batch cover sheet, and the other with the archive copies. The donors are then referenced in the database by last name and house number (because we're not interested in every johnson in the universe, only the Johnson's who live at 1600. . .) If they do not have an existing record then one is established at this time, and all constituent ID numbers are recorded on the source (upper right-hand quadrant of the first page - so I don't have to hunt all over the document for it); the same is done for any memorial tributes expressed by the donor along with their gift - no existing record = make one. After a batch is entered into the database using the constituent and tribute ID's and two copies of a batch commit control report are printed and one is grouped with the batch cover sheet and deposit slip, and the other with the archival copies (these are then stapled together and filed in date order with other batches of the same fund ID).

If you have to dig through my drawers while I'm not here please remember my methods are scalable, flexible, and efficient, yet extremely delicate:
∙ Everything wrapped in rubber band is a single day's donations. And within that. . .
∙ If it's folded in ½ it's been entered into the database. Otherwise it's still outstanding.
∙ Within a given day, a binderclip separates non-memorial batches of donations from memorial batches.
∙ A paperclip designates a single batch; and a small paperclip designates the batch's archive copy and is nested within the larger paper clip immediatley behind the working batch.
∙ A staple designates a single source document, regardless of the number of checks it might contain.
Batches are receipted by date, consecutively: first non-memorial (less time intensive, less steps), next memorial batches; then higher donors which require a letter; and finally notifications for memorial donations (so that paper only gets switched twice)

And always remember:
The less you move, the faster work flows,
The faster work flows, the quicker it goes,
The quicker it goes, the sooner you're done,
The sooner you're done, the more time for fun!
doodlemaier: (Default)
. . . squeezed $500 out of his black little heart to benefit the terminally ill and the practice of palliative medicine in the DC metropolitan area (because, God knows, he's the source of a lot of pain in these hee'ah pahts!), and I'm gonna have to issue him a receipt addressed to "The Honorable and Mrs. Richard Cheney" . . . egh!

Way to go, Dick!


doodlemaier: (Default)
The exquisite itch

October 2015

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