Experience: Beauty and pleasure
Oct. 14th, 2008 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
doodlemaierI'm not the kind of vacationeer than can sit on my ass and do nothing, but maybe that's why it's been a couple years since I've taken an honest-to-God week off from work to go somewhere or do something. My liver would never be able to withstand a week on a cruise ship, regardless of how "fun" these things are supposed to be. Burn-out with the job at this point is a very clear and real inevitability.
I was taught as a child that I can be and do whatever I please, which I still believe to be true. I'm only coming to realize that I can't do or become that here, though. My entire career has been a crooked and fractured series of "fall back" jobs for a once aspiring artist, none of which are secure nor profitable - Clear evidence that I've missed my calling and have abused and neglected the talents and blessings bestowed upon me. Growing up in Northern Virginia in the shadows of the corporate castles built by beltway bandits, and among the single-mindedly ambitious, luxury-addicted culture they foster has warped my values and my sense of purpose. Everything familiar to me is ugly and hollow and I'm resentful. I feel stalled and fritter away my time surrounded by packrat or pothead.
On the bright side my friend, Duffy, with whom I share a similarly dead-end job is in Croatia with this group right now.
I was taught as a child that I can be and do whatever I please, which I still believe to be true. I'm only coming to realize that I can't do or become that here, though. My entire career has been a crooked and fractured series of "fall back" jobs for a once aspiring artist, none of which are secure nor profitable - Clear evidence that I've missed my calling and have abused and neglected the talents and blessings bestowed upon me. Growing up in Northern Virginia in the shadows of the corporate castles built by beltway bandits, and among the single-mindedly ambitious, luxury-addicted culture they foster has warped my values and my sense of purpose. Everything familiar to me is ugly and hollow and I'm resentful. I feel stalled and fritter away my time surrounded by packrat or pothead.
On the bright side my friend, Duffy, with whom I share a similarly dead-end job is in Croatia with this group right now.
