doodlemaier | Unusual memorial gifts quandry

This is my job: I deposit and process donations for a hospice organization, and am a steward of the related data. We just got a memorial gift given in honor of "My lord, Jesus, the Christ". Policy states that all gifts given in memory or in honor of someone deceased must be linked in the database to the honoree's record. This much is clear: Establish a record for Jesus Christ. No problemo. . . Hey, He's in there already, but His record's not set-up correctly, or according to policy.

Now for the difficult parts. I referenced our patient accounts database and had no record of Jesus ever being in hospice care, at least not ours. So I have to consult other sources, such as . . . the Bible? "Holy Blood, Holy Grail"? Dan Brown? Who shall I list as a notificant? God, the Father, the Holy Ghost (aka the Goddess Mother)? No address, no phone numbers for them . . . figures! Policy states that we should have linked to each and every tribute record such as Jesus' here, at the very least, a 'primary caregiver' for whom we notify of the gift. Oh, how about Mary Magdalen? She'd be perfect - I'll list her as a primary caregiver . . . but as the recipricol relationship (again - stewardship policy) am I safe in lieu of information to put Jesus as 'late spouse'? (Sorry, 'savior' isn't on the drop down menu).

The correspondence we get from the very religious is by far the most entertaining. There is indeed a God, but (S)he's a prankster God!